Past, Present, Future
by ElephantKhaleesi
Summary: Altair, Ezio, and Desmond get sent to the past. Together in an unknown time, and with unbearable sexual tension will they be able to return to their respective times? And by the end will they want to? AltairXEzioXDesmond Yaoi Future Lemon. Ye Be Warned.
1. Chapter 1

Altair stared at the infamous "Apple Of Eden". To be honest, it wasn't much to look at. In fact it reminded him of a small child's toy, something to be kicked around and, well, played with. He lazily reached out to it, letting his fingers just barely graze over its surface.

_**000**_

Ezio, rather lecherously, admired Leonardo's backside as he bent over to retrieve the numerous pastels that had gotten knocked over by Malik, Leonardo's curious new cat-friend. Apparently he had become struck with wanderlust late one evening and decided to quench his newfound thirst for the unexplored outdoors and off he went to take a stroll outside. Maybe he would discover a short cut or find an interesting object to take home. He wandered down an alleyway, idly searching the stars as he went. _Meowwwww. _He stilled, his head turning to the side trying to identify what exactly that had been. Again the soft noise came, and he cautiously followed it to a dark corner, where nestled in the grime and dirt of Venice he found a small starving kitten. The kitten's left front paw was badly damaged. He gingerly picked him (as Leonardo quickly discovered him to be) up and carried him back to his workshop.

Ezio personally didn't like the _thing, _and it didn't like him either it also managed to steal most of Leo's attention, blasted thing. Besides it was just plain creepy how it would get this glint in its eyes as if it could understand you or knew something you didn't, not to mention it was unusually adept to the ways of human kind. Leonardo thought it was remarkable and that maybe he was reincarnated as a cat when he was originally a human, or that maybe… yea like he wanted to listen about a creepy cat that acted like a man. A possessive one at that, sure as hell doesn't like it when people get to close to Leo. His face still stung from those devil claws. Ezio turned his attention to the "Apple Of Eden" his hand reached out, fingers splayed across the cool surface.

_**000**_

Desmond did his best to drone out the incessant ramblings of one Lucy Stillman. He grumbled something about women to which Lucy started a whole new rant about how much of a sexist ass he was being. The door opened and Shuan and Becks(as she had been nicknamed) waltzed in looking quite content. He had no doubt why as he took in Shuan's slightly disheveled hair and rumpled shirt, then Rebecca's bruised neck and swollen lips. He returned his attention to the computer screen in front of him and started a new game of Solitaire; thankful that Lucy's angry rambling was now directed at them for being late. Desmond had to repress his grin when she demanded why. As strong of an assassin as she was, she could sure as fuck be oblivious sometimes or maybe she was just that innocent and naïve. Desmond didn't care either way because the stuttered out lies were enough to get him grinning like a mad hatter. He ignored his strange comrades and zoned in on the "Apple Of Eden", he tentatively let his hand drift towards it, a bad feeling creeping up his spine then going back down and residing in his stomach. He let his fingers gently touch it almost in a tender caress.

_**000**_

A white light flashed, blinding all three of the assassins upon contact of the apple. The sensation of falling overwhelmed them and they found movement impossible, a paralysis overcoming their limbs. Their vision still inept and all action unavailable, panic spread like wildfire through all of their minds.

_**THUD!**_

Altair groaned, he had hit the cold stone-ground-pavement thingy hard, it knocked the air out of him and left him breathless. He barely had time to open his eyes before _something _fell on top of him. Needless to say Altair was pissed, which is why he had his hidden blade out and at the throat of the offending…person? He grunted as another fucking 230 pounds got dumped on him.

_**000**_

Desmond hadn't felt this shitty since…when the fuck had he ever felt this shitty? He was abruptly blinded, immobilized, than slammed down on something hard yet mushy… It weird to say the least; especially when he opened his eyes and realized that "hard yet mushy" thing had a blade at his throat. But he didn't have much time to absorb that before 230 mother fucking pounds came down on him sending his face straight into said hidden blade. SHIT. Thankfully, when the fucking elephant landed on him, the blade was jerked way from his face and instead of looking like shredded tuna, he was currently suffocating. His face ended up jammed into the crook of whomever's neck, whatever this guy was wearing was, conveniently, making the process of breathing very difficult. AND he couldn't pull his face away to breathe because the elephant had him pinned. Just great.

_**000**_

Huh well that was different… Ezio looked down at what he had landed on, which was surprisingly comfy. He realized rather quickly that he had landed on _people_. Huh.

"Gurumph!" A very displeased sounding voice had said, "Get off." No one however had understood him because, not only did it come out muffled and warped, at the very same time he had decided to speak Altair shoved them both off of him and stood. He swiftly strode over to them and kicked the fat one off of the other. The quick gasping of Desmond was the only thing heard, apart from the groan the elephant had emitted when he had landed.

"You fat fuck!" Was the first thing Desmond said as he stumbled onto his feet and loomed over an innocent Ezio.

"Are—Are you talking to _me_?_"_ Ezio asked; disbelief laced into his voice as he stared in shock at the strangely dressed man who was both younger and shorter than him.

"Who the fuck else do you think I'm talking to?" He was out of breath and pissed. _Something_ fucking broke when Ezio had landed on top of him and it _hurt_.

"I am NOT fat." His astounded voice said "fat" as if it was a horrible disgusting thing. Desmond paused and stared and then stared some more.

_**000**_

, NO. That was NOT Ezio Auditore he was looking at, nope. Just some freak look alike. NOT him, he was looong dead. Impossible, he was dead, so obviously he couldn't be in front of him. It was a freaky look alike. Yes just a man who was dressed in the exact same thing Ezio was fond of wearing, the exact same haircut Ezio had had since he was 13, and happened to look exactly like him down to the scar on his lips. But definitely NOT him.

Desmond's feet sent him stumbling backwards in shock. Stumbling backwards right into Altair. He swiveled his head around the second his back had bumped harshly into something. What he saw sent him stumbling backwards yet again, until he feat tripped over Ezio's laying body. He landed sharply on his ass, but continued to crawl backward until his back connected with the wall. A wall? Desmond took in his surroundings, and realized that he was NOT in Kansas anymore.

The walls were a stark yellow that was bright enough that it hurt his eyes. There were no windows to be seen, and the door was made of some type of metal, which was on the wall opposite of him. The square room wasn't that big either. Desmond froze than quickly searched himself, where the fuck was the Apple Of Eden!

_**000**_

What cha think? Good, bad, suckish, awesome? TELL ME AND REVIEW! I'll give you my super awesome ninja cyber brownies and NO they are not laced with anything nor are they pot brownies. Jeez people…


	2. Chapter 2

Bwhahahhahahhahahahaha! Thank you reviewers! ~o.o~ I luvs all of you! You give me the inspiration to move on! I looked back and was shocked at how short I made Altair's POV, *sad face*, so I tried to make his longer. Oh and if any of you don't know I have an account on DeviantART, same name, so if you want to check that out feel free! I hope this chapter doesn't turn out too short but I'm just warming up, they always get longer as I go. So here we go, enjoy! OOCness? Maybe?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own AC, if I did… Well what do you think Revelations would be all about? *wiggles eyebrows*

_**000**_

Altair stared bemusedly at the boy who had backed himself against the wall as he franticly searched himself. He changed his attention to the fatty. Though now that he really looked at him he wasn't that fat, his weight must have come from the ridicules amount of clothing he had on or maybe it was his metal armor that looked painfully heavy. He briefly took in his surroundings, grimacing at the yellow. Ugh. He took a swift glance upward; the ceiling was at least a few stories up and wooden rafters could be seen everywhere. A small "window" (though it had no right to be graced with such a title) could be seen at the very top of the room, and he could feel a soft breeze. The breeze moved past him and ruffled the yellow…What the fuck? He reached his hand out and realized that the yellow was actually covering a stone wall. He let his hand drop down to his side. The fatty got unto his feet rather cumbersomely, making him really look like a heifer.

"Give me your names or I shall take your lives." Ezio threatened, however with his new title "fatty" and how clumsy he was getting on his feet the most Altair could imagine the young man doing was turning into a teddy bear and hugging them to death… Strange that was an unusual thought. But nonetheless an image of Ezio doing just that popped into his mind and he found himself stifling laughter.

Ezio assuming he was laughing at him did not take this very well at all. Turning on Altair, his assassin's blade sprang from the hidden mechanism in his armguard. Altair banished all humor from even the deepest recess of his mind when the laid eyes on it.

"You are an assassin." He stated, flickering from the blade to Ezio's face. Ezio hesitated before replying:

"Who are you?"

"I am Altair, and you?" Ezio's eyes widen slightly, the name having become legendary.

"Ezio."

"SHIT!"

_**000**_

At the random and loud cuss all attention turned to the flustered not-quite assassin. Nononononononononono! They did not just say that, the Apple Of Eden did not take him to an ugly yellow room, said Apple Of Eden was not missing, and he was not having a mental break down. Nope, none of that was happening. Fuck.

_**000**_

Ezio gazed at the young man looking like he was about to pull his hair out, he quickly took in his troubled face and rather soft looking lips—ehh, well that wasn't good. But it was hard to ignore all of the, erm, _pleasing_ aspects of him, now that he had pointed one out suddenly they where jumping into Ezio's field of vision. He approached him swiftly before taking is chin in his hand and tilting his face up.

"And your name is?"

"Desmond." His voice sounded rather defeated as if he had just lost an inner battle with himself. Altair quickly joined them.

"What are you doing here?"

"The same thing you are." Desmond responded hoping that one of them would know what they were doing here.

"And what, tesoro, would that be?" Ezio inquired, he knew something then.

"Actually I don't know, but I figured one of you would." He responded sheepishly avoiding eye contact by counting the cracks in the floor.

"Tch, well isn't that great." Altair ground out through his teeth. It had dawned on him about 4 seconds ago the extent of what was happening. And it pissed him off.

"Calm yourself, master." Ezio noticed Desmond flinch at Altair's harsh tone, and he decided he didn't like it.

"Ummm, would you mind letting go of me now?" Desmond's shy request made Ezio realize he was still holding Desmond's chin.

"Ah, of course. Scusami tesoro." Desmond eyebrows furrowed at the foriegn language, he knew of course that it was Italian, however he couldn't grasp what had just been said. Altair heard the slightest tap and knew someone was quickly aproaching the creepy metal door on the wall opposite of where they were. The doornob made the slightest jingle, and Altair was already scaling onto the wall. Ezio, getting the hint, scooped Desmond up into his arms (bridal style) and jumped onto the far wall, then back again. He was thankful that the room was small enough that he was allowed to continue that until they had reached the top and were perched on the high beams. Ezio, reluctantly, let a very irked Desmond out of his arms, so he could balance himself as well. The door creaked open and every muscle in Desmond's body tensed and froze up, immobilizing him for the second time that day.

Loved it, hated it? I told you it was going to be short. Though i am a little depressed with how short it turned out, but hopefully I'l make it up in the next chapter! ~.~

Translations: Tesoro = Darling, Scusami = Forgive Me.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Yeah, I was all like I'll make up for the shortness of the previous chapter with an uber long this chapter. But I'm kinda hesitant about giving too much away in this one chapter if I make it too long, but I don't want to force this chapter to be long and make it go around in circles kind of like what I'm doing now. So we'll just see how this turns out. ~..~

* * *

><p><em><strong>000<strong>_

The door swung open in full, two men in full out armor entered the room both of them carrying broad long swords. Desmond was instantly reminded of knights in shining armor, however not only were these knights far more sinister than any fairy tale dragon slayers he'd ever heard of; the armor they adorned itself was rusted and grimy. But what had made him freeze up in terror was the emblem they carried. Delicately carved into the long swords the knights had securely in their grasp, was the Apple Of Eden (undoubtedly). What was even more disturbing was the symbol around the apple. It was unmistakably someone's seal, which was increasingly troublesome. He needed to figure out where he was and in what time he was. Guessing from the big, clunky armor he went back in time, but he would need confirmation.

His eye twitched as he stole a glance at Ezio. Desmond let out a big huff; he would have been able to get up here fine by himself. He may have cut out of his training at 16, but that was still more than a decade at work. He knew how to scale a wall, even if he might have had some difficulty with the task he didn't need to be carried like that. Another huff.

_**000**_

Ezio looked down at the two guards below him, their armor looked huge! He was no longer the fat one here. A small huff resounded from Desmond, catching Ezio's attention instantly. He had also noticed Desmond take a quick peek at him; however he brushed it off as wishful thinking. Now though he wasn't so sure it was just that. His attention was once again averted as a third guard entered the room, with significantly better armor.

He barked out some command, he wasn't paying enough attention to catch it. But both guards instantly moved, gripping the yellow fabric in their hands they pulled, ripping the tapestry off of the wall. The ugly banana color fluttered a bit, before landing on the floor, revealing another door. This one was made out of heavy oak, completely contrasting the other metal one opposite of it. The two guards gripped the handle and heaved, together as if it was heavy enough that it would be an impossible task alone. The door swung open, just barely visible was a narrow fight of stairs that curved off to the side. The trio progressed down the stairs, and out of sight.

_**000**_

Desmond leaned forward in an attempt to see better, but his muscles were still stiff with tension. With a soft gasp, he fell.

_**000**_

Ezio moved before his mind processed Desmond's fall, his fingers stretching out. He knew that there was absolutely no way he would ever make it on time, even as he lurched forward in a vain attempt to prevent the inevitable. His fingers grasping and his heart pounding in his chest…maybe—Desmond plummeted.

_**000**_

His heart lurched in his chest as he felt wind whipping around him. He could count the stories if he wanted to; each was around 9 feet. He was falling at most likely a rate of 2 second per foot. The momentum increasing the original rate a second per foot, which basically meant he was fucked. There were only what 3 or 4 stories? He squeezed his eyes shut, either he would break every bone in his body and die slow and in agony, or he would become a big splatter on the ground. That would be a pain to clean up. He tensed up preparing for pain. He inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly. Fear and panic had started its course through Desmond's mind, and he couldn't prevent the tremors that wracked his body.

_**000**_

Altair leapt from the rafter after Desmond, a growl tearing out of his throat. Twisting his body, he landed heavily, he outstretched his arms, and pushed off the ground into a standing position.

_**000**_

Strange enough he wasn't dead. He slowly opened his eyes, which took much difficulty, and stared into two golden orbs. It didn't take him long for a word to form on his lips, just one.

"Altair…" He barely whispered it, it sounded breathy and he doubted that Altair heard it. He did.

"Clumsy child." Altair stated with finality. A deep blush flooded unto Desmond's face and he averted his eyes; letting them travel down to Altair's lips.

Desmond's eye twitched, he was being carried bridal style again. Grrrr.

_**000**_

Ezio hopped down hurriedly.

"Desmond are you alright?" Ezio strode towards the two. He found himself wondering why seeing Desmond cradled in Altair's arms with that cute little flush on his face bothered him so much. He had only just met the man after all. Still, a wave of irritation flowed through him as he continued to watch them. Desmond was muttering nothings (which would have been fucking adorable if they had been said to _him_) about being carried like a woman. Not to mention Altair had that look in his eye which screamed, "I want to eat you." He knew that it couldn't be anything else because he had had that look in his eye many times before in his life. He felt like growling.

_**000**_

Altair stealthily slipped his hand down Desmond's thigh to cup his ass. And what a nice ass it was. Desmond let out a tiny squeak, his fingers curling in the older assassin's robe. A low chuckle rumbled through his chest as Desmond scowled up at him.

"P-put. Me. Down." He had meant that to be demanding however the effect was killed by his embarrassed stutter. Altair didn't bother to hide his smirk.

"As you wish." He said, promptly dropping him on that perfect ass of his.

_**000**_

Ezio was furious.

_**000**_

Desmond was furious.

_**000**_

Altair was giggling. Inside of course.

* * *

><p><em><strong>000<strong>_

Bwhahahhahahahahahahhahahahah! I'm so fucking amazing! Socks is glaring at me right now…..

Socks: Give me the credit bitch.

Me: NO!

Socks: _Click_

Me: Fine! Fine! You helped. You did edit this.

Socks: _Pats head._

Socks: _Leaves_

Me: That crazy bitch didn't do nothing.

Socks: _Click. Boom._

Me: Oh no I'm blasting off agaaaaaaaain!

Socks: Heheheheheheheehehehehehe…. Until next time.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I have total writer's block. I'm completely stuck. So this is going to be like a bonus chapter. I have a sneak peak for the next chapter then I have my new mini series, The Chronicles, and then my end. Sooo I hope you won't be too upset with the delay?

Me: And here we goooo—

Socks: Shut up.

Me: Why do you hate me?*Sniffle*

Socks: Roooooooxane, Du du du, you don't have to put on that red light. Roooxa—

Me: Shut up.

_**000**_

Desmond, angrily, stood up and dusted himself off. He managed to get a good glare at Altair in the process too. Desmond turned towards the ominous oak door that had been hidden behind the tapestry.

"We should probably find out where this leads to." He said irritation still obvious in his voice. He meandered over to the door, his legs still a bit shaky from his freefall.

"Well?"

Ezio swallowed his anger and went to stand beside Desmond. "Should we knock?"

Desmond stared at him like he'd just sprouted a third arm.

"I was kidding tesoro."

_**END**_

_**000**_

The Chronicles~

Ezio gazed hungrily at the three chocolate cones complete with ice cream.

"Come on Desmond! Please can I have one?" Ezio practically begged.

Desmond looked at Ezio then at the ice cream cones in his hands before replying.

"No." he had meant to sound stern however it came off almost sounding like a pout. Before Ezio or Desmond could continue their soon-to-be quarrel, Desmond was yanked backwards and had one of his ice cream cones stolen. Then it was tossed Ezio's way, who caught it easily, without spilling a drop I might add. Ezio glanced upwards to thank his mysterious savior, but his mood turned sour. Altair had his arms wrapped around Desmond's waist, his tongue licking any and all traces of ice cream off of Desmond. Ezio promptly threw his ice cream at Altair's face.

_**000**_

Altair had been quietly enjoying his "snack" when something wet and gooey was thrown at break neck speed directly at his face.

"Ow." He growled as he looked up to see Ezio's pouting face. He was planning on saying something ass hole-ish and dastardly, but his "snack" was jerked out of his grasp.

"Hey!"

Ezio had Desmond in his claws and was glaring at Altair as if in an attempt to erase him from the face of the earth via death glare.

_**000**_

Desmond was, understandably, upset. His ice cream cones were all over the floor… They had tasted soo good…

"You know, you both are so confusing." Desmond declared. He then untangled himself from Ezio's iron grasp and made his way over to Altair.

"I mean really, how is it you two aren't together?" They both proceeded to stare a Desmond as if he had grown a horn. Desmond furrowed his brows in frustration.

"You two would be so perfect together. Altair is handsome and has a dangerous quality about him. He's like any girls' knight in pitch black armor." Desmond turned and walked towards Ezio.

"And you! You're completely gorgeous and a total flirt. You're like every girls' knight in shining armor." He stated this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and that Altair and Ezio should have been an item years ago. Altair lifted his hand up and curled his fingers around Desmond's chin, then leaning down he said huskily, "Then does that make you our damsel in distress?" Desmond felt like growling. Why did it always come back to him being carried bridal style away from some danger? Grrrrrr.

_**000**_

, love it, hate it? Review! Awesome ninja brownies for anyone who does! (None of you are getting any of my brownies grrrrrrrrrrr.)

Oh and don't worry Desmond is not going to be fought over like some crappy playoff of Twilight, I'll make sure the love is even. XD

Me: My right arm is complete again!

Socks: I see a little siluetto of a man. Sca—

Me: Loathing. Unadulterated loathing, for your face, your voice your clo—

Socks: Don't wonder why mien heir, I always said that I was a rover, yo—

Me: But you really should know I'd be good for you. I'd be surprisingly good for yo—

Socks: The Phantom of the Opera is here, inside my min—

Me: I can show you the world. Shining shimmering splendor.

Socks: And little people now, when little people fight we ma—

Me: Tell me why oh why are my genetics such a bitc—

Socks: I'll have a terrace apartment, better get rid of you accent.

Me: And who does mamma teach to mend and tend and fix. Preparing her to marry whoever papa pic—

Socks: Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho a pirate's life for me, we pillage we plunder w—

Me: Close every door to me, hide all the world to me, bar all the windows and shut ou—

Socks: A fool to believe, it all ends today, yes it all ends toda—

Me: You see the border of her coat is torn and stained with sand, and you see the corn—

Me & Socks: I want to be the very best like no one ever was. To catch them is my real test; to train them is my cause. I will travel across the land. Searchin' far and wide. Each Pokemon to understand, the power that's inside.

Pokemon! It's you and me! I know it's my destiny.

Pokemon!

Ohhhh you're my best friend in this world we must defend.

Pokemon!

A heart so true! Our courage will pull us through. You teach me and I'll teach you.

Pokemon! Gotta catch em' all! Every challenge along the way with courage I will face. I will battle everyday to claim my rightful place. Come with me the time is right there's no better team. Arm and arm, we'll win the fight! It's always been our dream.

Pokemon! It's you and me. I know it's my destiny!

Pokemon! Oooohhhh you're my best friend, in world we must defend!

Pokemon! A heart so true! Our courage will pull us through! You teach and I'll teach you. Pokemon!

Gotta catch em' all

Gotta catch em' all

Gotta catch em' all

Gotta catch em' all yeah

Pokemon! Gotta catch em' all, I know it's my destiny!

Pokemon! Ohh you're my best friend, in a world we must defend!

Pokemon! Gotta catch em' all! Our courage will pull us through. You teach me and I'll teach you!

Pokemon!

Gotta catch em' all

Gotta catch em' all

Pokemon!

___**..**___

The most epic thing about that is the fact I did it from memory. If you want me to tell you which any were go ahead and ask, but they all are either show tunes, musicals, or/and operas. And of course the last one is a theme song, but you should all know what that is. Seriously though it said the name in it, you really should know. PEACE OUT MA HOMIES! Oh and in case anyone needs this- Translation: Tesoro = Darling.


	5. Chapter 5

Oh my god! I can't stand Michigan. I have no internet! I wrote this forever ago, and haven't been able to upload this at all. I'm crying on the inside… *Sniffle**Sniffle*

Anyway I hope you enjoy this, I think I may have found a muse! Sooooooo lets do this thang. MY WRITER'S BLOCK IS GONE! Lets hope I didn't speak too soon.

And on that note let me add that Desmond in particular is going to be kinda OOC in this Chapter, but I couldn't resist the lure of a pleading flushed uke Desmond and I figured this (you'll know soon enough) would help me get his character to that point. Hehehehehehe.

DISCLAIMER! I keep forgetting to add those, hmmmm I wonder why? XD

I'm sorry about my never ending complaints about MI but I've been very frustrated because of my lack of Internet… That mother fucking poptarts stealer could have warned me about this. *pout*

~O.o~

* * *

><p><em><strong>000<strong>_

Altair had a headache. Now this wasn't just any ordinary headache. No. He must have offended the Gods in some way, to have deserved such misfortune. Could this be retribution for every life that had been taken by his bloody red hands? He didn't know, but he could not imagine the deeds that had been done to deserve a punishment like this.

Altair let his gaze slip from the cloudless sky and down to the two bickering imbeciles before him. Desmond looked furious, his seething rage barely contained. Ezio did a better job of masking his expressions, but both were obviously novices and both were obviously angry. Altair had decided to sit this latest episode out. He knew what it was like to be on the opposite end of Desmond's cold glare. More specifically he knew what it was like to **not** receive Desmond's cold glare, and to **not **be in any way shape or form acknowledged by the cute novice. It was kind of hell. He would never have thought that the silent treatment could be so effective. Though he quickly learned that Desmond was capable of holding a grudge for a while, which was rather absurd. He knew he was still not in the clear zone with the little novice but damn, all he did was a quick feel of his ass. Altair couldn't help but smirk, he really needed to touch that ass again.

He was drawn out of his thoughts when Ezio said (loudly), "That does not explain why a man from centuries past is here in the flesh and blood! Or you who is supposedly from times yet to come!" Ugh, what an unfortunate way to be reminded of his headache.

"If I could tell you I would! All I remember was touching the Apple and ending up here!" Desmond was pissed, even more so than he had been previously. Altair had come to turns with the information that Desmond reluctantly provided, not him of course. Grudges… He couldn't help but roll his eyes, Altair did not like being ignored.

_After they went down the rather senseless circular flight of stairs (I mean really it would have made more sense to just build a flight of stairs, it seemed like wasted money and an extended time frame of completion.) they had come across a room filled with bodies. It had been a tomb of sorts, but it was unlike any tomb he had ever seen. The corpses had been of men, women, children, even the elderly. Each and every one was mutilated and savagely murdered. That was what probably made Desmond hurl himself into his arms and wrap his arms around Altair in an iron grip. He took that as a sign that he had been forgiven, unfortunately he hadn't been. _

_Ezio turned his head out of disgust and his feet carried him backwards instinctively. Somehow (A/N: Don't judge the ways of love!) he ended up resting his forehead against Altair's as he forced his stomach down and took in quick, shallow breaths. Altair found himself staring into those warm chocolate orbs. And Ezio (he would never admit it) found himself lost in the depths of Altair's golden irises. This was the part where those pesky things called feelings, (the complete and utter root of major emotions like love, hate, ect.) planted themselves deep inside both of them. Altair couldn't help draw himself closer (the scared shitless novice in-between them momentarily forgotten.) and closer until their lips touched, and Altair found himself completely lost in the taste of Ezio. The kiss grew stronger in passion until the younger reluctantly drew back for air. Both slightly winded and aroused they wasted no time in connecting their lips once again, Ezio's parting submissively to the elder's hungry tongue. _

_**000**_

_Ezio slid his tongue tentatively against Altair's, and was quickly rewarded with a fucking purr. Ezio felt his pants constrict around him and brush up against Desmond's ass. A cute little squeak erupted from the folds of Altair's clothes, which was currently what Desmond's face was buried in. Ezio smirked into the kiss (Think about how long it takes for Ezio to surface when he dives.) and slowly slid his arm around Desmond, his hand inching down further until it was kneading Desmond's crotch. A small moan found its way out of Desmond's mouth. _

_**000**_

_Desmond was having another mental breakdown; it was a very severe one. Not only was his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfathers (12 times removed) sucking face above him, one of his said great-grandfathers was currently groping him. Not to mention he could feel their boners against him, one poking him rather suspiciously against his ass and the other was, he shamefully admitted, was causing friction against __**his **__boner. The worst part about it was that Desmond was enjoying it. NO! They were related by blood. Even if they were centuries apart that just made him quesy about the fact that this was like pedophilia (Oh yes he was having a mental breakdown.). His conscious was screaming at him about how wrong this was, but somehow it all felt so right. Stupid, cheesy, corny thoughts!_

_Desmond jerked out of Ezio's grasp and shoved Altair away from him. (Not that he actually went more than a step backwards)._

"_We're related! This is sooooo wrong." Desmond said, panic obvious in his voice._

_**000**_

_This of course lead to confusion and lots of demanding questions like for instance, "What the fuck are you talking about?". Of course he did spill everything, __**everything**__, it wasn't even to him… Stupid grudge holding… Anyway afterwards after (A/N: I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to put.) finding no other way out of the room, odd, they went back up the stairs, still absorbing all the information, and proceeded to get the hell out of there. "There" was actually a castle of some kind, it looked rather decrepit, and had moss growing everywhere on it. It was obviously not Jerusalem, in fact the climate seemed to be completely opposite of where he was from._

Altair again let his gaze find the two novices.

"I wasn't the one who was ready to get it on in a fucking burial ground!" Ohhhh, low hit Desmond.

"That has nothing to do with this!" Lie. He had a feeling that not getting it on in that tomb was exactly the reason Ezio was so angry. He was after all a bit of a horn dog, simply because he was completely ready to get it on in a room filled with dead people.

And he still had that fucking headache…

_**000**_

Ezio twisted around and glowered angrily at Altair.

"Don't just stand there! Don't you think this is information we should have known before and at the start!" Ezio was very angry, _and _had a hard on which had never happened to him before… I mean he had a boner before and had been angry before but never at the same time. But that wasn't the point Desmond and Altair were being completely unreasonable! Ezio had a hard on and neither of them were taking care of it! Ezio made a decision at that moment, Desmond was going to help him get rid of his increasing persistent problem whether he wanted to or not!

_**000**_

* * *

><p>SOOOOOO? Watcha think? Short I know, but then again I've been saying that since chapter one. Blame it on Brotherhood. I finally finished the game, loved the ending, LOVED IT! THAT BITCH GOT WHAT SHE— not what I intended to say that is an entirely different rant. Anyway I was really happy and then I realized that was the end and was all like noooooooo how could you do this to me! So yeah I was so put out it took me awhile to pump out this chapter but thankfully Socks gave me a present to put me back into the spirit of things that I will reward you with in the next chapter! XD! Damn do I love yaoi.<p>

~o.o~ Bye, bye loves~


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: You don't honestly expect me to make up something funny and witty for every chapter do you?

Half of this was Socks' present half of this was my own naughty little mind. Oh and for all of you readers looking for some action (and no not in the ima gonna fuck you up, man way… though…XD) you get it here. Enjoy, and please review. ~o.o~

Poor, poor, poor little Desmond, poor, poor, poor, unsuspecting Desmond. He was completely oblivious to his ancestor's thoughts. His horribly mean ancestor's thoughts.

"What the fu-"

"Quiet tesoro." He murmured, pressing his body flush against the other.

Desmond opened his mouth to potentially scream or shout at the arrogant dick in front of him, however became quickly side tracked by trying to ignore the heat building in his cheeks at Ezio's close proximity. He was roughly slammed back his head smacking against the ugly grey stone painfully, his arms pinned awkwardly between them. Ezio, on the other hand, was quite content with his position. Forearms pressed against the wall on either side of Desmond's head, lips just barely touching his ear.

Every muscle in Desmond's body clenched. He mentally bitched out his fingers for curling in the fabric of Ezio's clothes. Said Italian pressed even closer, _unintentionally_ slipping a knee between Desmond's legs. A jolt shot through Desmond's body and he had to fight with himself not to yell, why did he always find the semes? Desmond's heart was pounding and he had to chew his lip to keep silent, he would not submit to this man!

It didn't help though when Ezio shifted, his knee rocking up into his groin. And he almost died of disbelief when his hips jerked forward in response. He could imagine the grin on Ezio's face and it set his blood boiling.

"Get. The fuck. Off me." Desmond growled, only the effect was killed by the slightly breathless quality of his words. Ezio pulled back just far enough to see Desmond's face. He was quite pleased with the rosy blush he found there.

"Why so upset?"

"Don't play dumb with me! You know exactly why I'm upset!"

Ezio smirked and dropped the act. "You didn't like it?"

"No! Excuse me for not enjoying your knee in my crotch when I'm ready to fucking kill you—y-you insolent ass!"

Said knee rolled up into said crotch, causing a completely involuntary moan. Ezio's smirk grew three times bigger.

"When you said you _didn't_ like it . . ."

"Fucking prick." Desmond snapped, attempting to shove Ezio away. The Italian moved fast, pinning his hands above his head with one arm.

"Feisty."

Desmond fought against his hold, snarling when he found him to be too strong.

"Not the sound I was hoping for. I much preferred this one."

The Italian's knee ground against his groin, producing a low groan.

"Y-you son of a-"

He was cut off by Ezio's tongue down his throat. Desmond moaned into his mouth, that skillful tongue quickly disarming him. He broke away and, panting for breath, stared up at Ezio. The Italian looked pleased, a smirk curving his lips.

"You taste good." He murmured, mouth descending upon Desmond's neck. The younger moaned softly and arched his back. When Ezio clamped down on his collarbone, he let out a gasp, hips rolling down and forward against the Italian's leg.

"Well, well, tesoro. For someone not enjoying this-"

Desmond crushed his lips to his, effectively cutting him off. He fought with all his might but he was no match and Ezio soon seized control, mapping the other's mouth with his tongue. He released his hold on Desmond's arms so that he could explore, hands trailing under the hoodie along his waist and up his chest. Desmond groaned, his back arching into those hands.

Fingers attached to deviant hands slid farther up Desmond's lean, lithe chest, coming to rest on perk, hardened nipples. And how could he resist such tauntingly wonderful expressions that were, unbeknownst to Desmond, appearing on his face; though he would have been mortified to have realized how wonton they were.

Ezio tweaked Desmond's nipples relentlessly, loving the small mewls that Desmond was desperately trying to hold in. Just one of those things that made him all the more desirable. He leaned forward, tongue extending and swiping the shell of Desmond's pink tipped ear, before delving his tongue inside it, whilst grinding his knee into his groin.

"Fuck."

"As you wish."

Sadly before he had time to properly complete that plan he was jerked out of his rather perverse thoughts by a very pissed, excruciatingly gorgeous man who was by far more devious than Ezio's hands.

_**000**_

The gall of these BASTARDS! Altair was, needless to say, a very upset man, not only had he been forced to suffer the frustrating refusal of acknowledgment from Desmond he had to listen to Ezio's incessant whining. Though they were both tolerable things, merely minor obstacles that could be dealt with.

But this, this he refused to simply pass off, there was, after all only so much even he could take. And being teased via obviously enjoyable foreplay was, unfortunately, one of those things he could not— no would not take! He knew the lecherous ass grab was indecent but for fuck's sake! They were going to fuck _WITHOUT___him? It made his blood boil. After all Altair Ibn La Ahad did not like to be ignored.

_**000**_

Ezio was yanked backwards by his collar, tottering off balance and crashing to the floor ungracefully.

"SEE! It hurts!" Desmond glared accusingly at Altair who couldn't help but smirk. Finally got over it did he? But on to greener pastures, he leaned over Ezio and glared menacingly before inquiring:

"May I ask what exactly you were planning on doing, without me?"

Ezio looked momentarily surprised before replying huskily, "Oh? Care to join the party, love?" His gruff tones sent shivers down Desmond's spine and made Altair's eyebrow quirk up.

"EEEEEEEEEKKK!"

_**000**_

NO! Nononononononono. Nope. He did not just get a boner from his grandpa, said grandpa did not just invite **his** grandpa to a roll in the hay (for them, literally) and he is NOT IN ANY WAY AFFECTED!

Desmond's hands covered up his red, flushed face as he slid down the grey stone wall, wrapped his arms around his legs and buried his face into his knees. _Damn Abstergo fucked me up big time, I was a fucking bartender who was more effective with dealing with the drunks than the bouncers were. I need to calm down, SUCK IT UP you incompetent asshole! Shit! I'm talking to myself!_

A defeated groan emitted from Desmond, he was tired and still had a boner because of that damned Italian and his hands. He needed to get over it and he knew it. And after all they were ancestors, it wasn't a close relation.

He really needed to stop lying to himself. He lifted and stared at the two bemused Masters, the two gorgeous, sexually frustrated, sadistic Masters. A sigh escaped his lips and he resisted a snort. There really was only so much he could ignore, and it's not like they weren't sexually attracted to each other, fuck it's not like they weren't just plain attracted to each other. Another sigh, the gloomy sun that had been mostly blocked out by clouds before disappeared altogether. He wearily lifted his head to absorb the two men above him wearing identical smirks that made him angry and horny at the same time.

"Something wrong, tesoro?"

Desmond lips tilted slightly at the edges the barest of frowns, his eyes downcast and almost shy. Eyelashes flutter slightly and two endless pools of chocolate gazed up through long full lashes. A pout obvious on his face.

"Fuck me."

`1

So did you like it? Kukukukukuku…. Kekekekekeke…Fufufufufufufufufu…. Hehehehehheheh… ! I now I'm amazing… please review, please, please, please, pleeease with sugar and Mello on top. ~o.o~

.

Socks: You realize there's no real story anymore…It's just one big smutfest.

Me: Shut up. Don't ruin my logic with your logic.

Socks: Is that anyway to thank the person who gave you such a wonderful gift?

Me: *pout*

Socks: …. Can I help you with the next chapter?

Me: *smirks evilly* Bwhahahahhahaha stage two of my master plan COMPLETE! No one can resist my pout XD

Socks: *rolls eyes* nevermind….


	7. Chapter 7

I'm so evil. Does anybody wanna know whyyyyyyy~? It's because~ I have created a master plan in which to take over JUPITAR! Awesome? I know~~~~~! Eeeeek, I could jump up and down in delight~!~!~!~!~!~! Yay! …... I'm going to go to bed for a couple of hours…

Hour 1

Hour 2

Hour 3

Hour 4

Hour 5

Anyway, I finally got this chapter up~~~ YESSSSS! Alright, this may seem a bit confusing but I'm making this like Boondock Saint's (amazing movie go watch it, NOT the second one it was a complete fail in comparison to the original) but if you don't know what I'm talking about or have never seen Boondock Saint's then just sit tight and wait for a distant explanation. But here is some plot for all of you – this is nothing like the summary, why is there no plot you perverted writer- people out there, there is sooooo much plot in this your going to be like WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO ME! So yeah… And for all of you – WHERE DID MY SMUT GOOOOOO! I WANT SEXXX – people out there don't you worry it's gonna be there, and it's gonna be like WHAM! cause it will surprise you… it will….

Oh and just for your information this is AltairXEzioXDesmond LOVE, meaning slash, yaoi, gay couplings, JUST in case you didn't get that.

**DISCLAIMER: If I owned AC, I would have a lot of cats, live in Johnny Depp's basement, have an animus and not be writing fanfiction. Because I would be rich enough that I would own EVERYTHING else… Right? I don't know; do rich people have the rights to AC? I really don't know because it's not ME. So don't sue me... But who wants to bet that whomever owns AC has a lot of cats? I do. **

* * *

><p>"Merda!" Ezio cursed loudly, the arrow plunging deep into his right shoulder, a sharp ache dulled only by adrenaline. More arrows shot down from the sky, an anger washed through him as he realized the betrayal of their informant.<p>

"Come! We must escape, Tesoro, Maestro!" He didn't wait for a reply, but he knew well enough that both his superior and his subordinate were swiftly following him. He turned rapidly down a narrow alleyway, his shoulders scraping painfully against the stone walls. It was; however something that went barely acknowledged as the blue of the water shown brutally in the afternoon sun, the piercing light burning his eyes and making colorful dots appear in his vision. So not cool. His feet reached the edge and he couldn't help but smirk as he propelled himself deep into the water.

His eyes stung as he looked upwards and swam back towards the surface. He broke through the water, his mind just barely registering the familiar face of Desmond before he dove into the water as well, then proceeded to resurface an arm's length away from him.

_**000**_

Altair's feet skidded to a halt as he saw both his companions (in more ways than one) waiting anxiously for his escape… In. Water… Oh shit.

"ALTAIR! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" Subtle Ezio, very subtle, I'm sure all the guards in a 3 mile radius greatly appreciated it.

"You know what? I'll, uh, just meet you there."

"What the FUCK are you talking about?"

Altair didn't need ears as keen as his were to hear the clamorous footsteps of his pursuers. _Fuck me_.

"Yeah, you know what why don't you go on ahead and I'll just… catch up to sometime later." _Wow. That was a real good show of your linguistic abilities Altair, real good._

_**000**_

Oooooooh that's right… Altair can't swim… Desmond opened his moth but quickly shut it. He knew he probably should say something but he also knew that Altair would probably kick the shit out of him if he did… Damn. A scream resounded through the alleyway and he suspected more guards in their attempt to aid their fellow comrades had knocked over a market dweller. Fuck. More of them. Desmond's nerves were on fire, and he felt fear constrict his chest as he saw a guard run down the dark alleyway and scream:

"Assassin! I have found them!"

Desmond was going to regret this.

"He can't swim." Barely a whisper.

"…"

"Well, than I guess it's about time he fucking learned." Yeah he was going to regret this.

_**000**_

Ezio propelled himself forward swimming at breakneck speed towards Altair. His hands made contact with the ledge and he wasted no time in grabbing Altair's foot and pulling him down into the water.

"SHHHHIII-" Splash.

_**000**_

_Desynchronizaton. _

Desmond didn't bother to withhold his schoolgirl giggles as the familiar word resounded in his head. He knew from, far too much, experience what would have happened had he been in the animus.

His giggles, however ended quickly as he felt something touch his leg.

"EEEEEEEE-" His frightened call was ended short as he was forced below the depths by a very angry sea monster named Altair.

* * *

><p>SOOOOOO? What'cha thinkin? Love it? Hate it? Please Love it, and REVIEW! I need the reviews! They give me the strength to surge onward! So pwease review?<p>

~o.o~

Sea Monsters.

Oh yes and here are the translations:

Merda-Shit

Tesoro-Darling

Maestro-Master


	8. Chapter 8

**I am so sorry this took so long to upload, my life just got really hectic and chaotic. Please forgive me. **

**Warning:** This story/chapter contains yaoi (or slash), if you are not aware of what that is… then you are very, very sad. There be swearing, cussing, profanities, and what may be interpreted as vulgar or course language in this.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own AC nor any of it's characters… I mean really, if you owned Malik, Ezio, Desmond, Altair, and Kadaar…*nosebleed*

**A/N: **I made the last chapter pretty short, , I'm really sorry about that… But! In exchange for that cute little chappy you get this one of which I hope is super long (though if it's over 1000 characters for me that's a big achievement . Damn my slow and unprogressive writing *sob*) and it's gonna have a chapter of The Chronicles in it too. (And if you don't know what THAT is then your memory sucks ass… Hard.) And I'm going to say sorry beforehand because I, again, am leaving the to-be-lemon just a to-be-lemon… Again. Teasing ravenous fangirls is one of my talents.

But yep… OH YEAH! I almost forgot, I got a review about my typos and mistakes so if you happen to catch any of those please tell me! Then proceed to explain to me how amazing and super ninja awesome me and my writing is… my writing and I? XD

_Sneak Peak_: Did you know that some of the synonyms of mounting are: rising, increasing, growing, swelling, escalating, getting bigger, getting higher…Got a nosebleed yet?

_**000**_

Desmond felt really shitty. Like really shitty. And he knew exactly why. But he said nothing as Altair wrapped his arms tighter around him in a positively possessive*manner. Asshole.

_**000**_

Ezio smirked at the pout that had permanently resided on Desmond's face for the last seven hours of their escape. (Obviously he was unaware of how cute it was. XD) But honestly, did he think he was going to get away with that? It had been pretty fucking funny though, who'd have thought that the great Altair Ib'n La Ahad couldn't swim? Ezio didn't even bother trying to resist a little mini-giggle fit at the memory. He watched the two idly as he slowly relaxed. Altair was laying on the cold floor his back propped up against the wall. Desmond was seated in between his legs, his head resting on Altair's chest; a protective pair of arms tightly curled around him.

Desmond probably had no idea how much of a snuggler he was, and was going to vehemently deny any such acts of cuddling tomorrow, that he was certain of. But such a chance would not show itself so easily again, must not let it go to waste. He slowly crawled over to the soundly sleeping pair, his lecherous thoughts putting him in a problematic situation. He mounted them, his knees on either side of Altair's waist, his crotch equal with Desmond's.

He slowly licked a trail of saliva from Desmond's neck to his ear, his tongue slowly curling around it before he sunk his teeth into the soft flesh.

"Ahhh!" Desmond yelped loudly, the pain jerking him from his sleep. Ezio shoved his tongue into Desmond's unsuspecting and open mouth. The battle for dominance ensued. He slipped his tongue farther—

"SHIT!"

_**000**_

What Ezio hadn't been anticipating was for Desmond to bite down on his tongue.

"You asshole! I was sleeping! Are you actually desperate enough to attack an unsuspecting—"

"Would you all just SHUT UP!" And, obviously, Desmond hadn't been expecting Altair to promptly fist his hair and yank as hard as he fucking could. The cute little whimper made Altair instantly loosen his grip. Big orbs of melted chocolate stared despairingly into gold irises, their usual cold steely look replaced with a warm molten color. Altair heaved a sigh.

"Since when did you become so good at twirling men around your fingers? .حبي " Altair sounded undoubtedly defeated. A small smirk slid its way onto Desmond's lips, his triumph obvious. However; Desmond found Altair in need of a consolation prize. Twisting around so his back wasn't to Altair's chest, Desmond leaned forward and placed a small kiss on Altair's down turned lips.

"Oi! Aren't you still recovering from that injury? You damn horndog, you reopened the wound didn't you?" Desmond left a smitten Altair to lecture Ezio more.

"It is nothing, il mio amore." He slipped the thin material of the robe off Ezio's shoulder to reveal deep rust red drenched bandages.

_**000**_

* I love alliterations.

Translations:

Il mio amore = my love

محبوب = darling

حبي = my love

Continue on!

~O.o~

Chapter 2 Of The Chronicles (Loosely based off the interaction in Chapter 1 of Past, Present, and Future.

"Ezio, you fat fuck!"

_Ouch._

"FAT!"

_Look in a mirror._

"Who the fuck else weighs 230 fucking pounds!"

"I-I am no-"

_Enter excuses here._

"Alright, that's it! You're the one who ate my chocolate cake, so you're going to get me another!"

_I would laugh but that would damage my rep. _

"Altair! Don't just stand there! I didn't eat Desmond's cake!"

_Nope. Cause I did. _

"Ezio, who else could it have been? Just accept it, alright? Be a man."*

_Oh and there the puppy dog eyes go, will Desmond's defenses hold?_

"..."

_I guess he broke._

"It was you wasn't it?"

_Shit. _

It was quite the comical sight to Leonardo as he watched Altair run for his life, Desmond following swiftly behind him, and Ezio who was following not so swiftly after Desmond.

"He really does need to lay off the cake."

However, Leonardo's companion only responded with a purr.

~.~ (Tis my kitty cat XD)

**A/N: **If anyone didn't understand "word" was when someone was talking and _word _was Altair's thoughts.

*Instead of the continuous banter between Desmond and Ezio, Altair is saying this.

The following is rated PG-13 for sensual situations, perverted cats, and vulnerable ukes…

~O.o~

His tongue slid across Leonardo's skin easily. He much enjoyed the slight flush that tinted the painter's freckled face. He licked a trail of gooey saliva along his throat, the barest of whimpers co-

"Stop! Stop it-"Giggle. "I-It tickles!" Leonardo exclaimed as he tossed his cat, Malik, off of him. The sensation of the small sandpapery tongue on his neck, one of his most ticklish places, had been enough to send him into hysterics. And he would have had he not shoved the mischievous little fucker off of him when he did.

Leonardo puffed out his cheeks in distress, though it came off more as a childish pout. He returned to cleaning up the paints Malik had, once again, knocked to the floor. He was so enthralled the task at hand that he failed to notice the rather irritable way Malik jumped onto the counter and shoved all of Leonardo's designs to the floor (A/N: with his… KITTY PAWS!), nor the decidedly sulky means the cat had turned tail (A/N: LITERALLY!) and ran into Leonardo's bedroom.

For in Malik's little kitty mind, Malik's perverted little kitty mind, there was always a next time. XD

I hope you likey. Please review! You know how much I love those. So yeah… Go do that!

XD


	9. Chapter 9

**Happy Halloween!~~~~~~~**

**DISCLAIMER!** Nope sorry, don't own ANYTHING…Except my fuzzy slippers. Got it?

**Warnings: **This is gonna get very gory and be very violent (well hopefully) and swearing is kind of a must.

**A/N:** Okay, I just read a review on the last chapter that makes me feel like a bit of a bitch. When I put different languages in my stories; I don't know them. I've never learned Italian or Arabic, I got those translations from google. I just thought that it would be cool to make it seem a bit like the game, where Desmond's translator thingy was broken so certain words stayed in their original language. I do not intend to offend anyone when I use another language in my writing, and if the translations are incorrect I'm really sorry, but I can't give you any better without a rosseta stone. And I'm really sorry if I'm confusing you with the format of my writing, but I promise that by the end it will make sense. And if you feel it doesn't (by the end) pm me and I will change the format to the "normal" more commonly used one. My goal is definitely not to confuse you or offend you, it's to make you laugh so hard you shit your pants and to be smiling when you hit the back button to search for more stories, kay? Blahhh~~~~~~ I feel soooo mean!~~~~ And I didn't want this to turn out like a rant but it kinda did, but if I say "I'm sorry" again you might send me hate mail so the real author's note begins below.

Last chapter didn't really come out as long as I hoped it would. I'm sorry about that. I wish I could stop my BUSY, BUSY, BUSY, BUSY life and pound out a few more chapters of this but I unfortunately can't. We all have our problems right? Which is why this chapter is probably not going to be that long, because if I say before hand that it's going to be long it definitely WON'T turn out long, but anyway this will also be pretty morbid cause I'm kinda frustrated right now, but that means there's gonna be lots of plot and not a lot of smex. So I'm sorry for the people that REALLY want it, but, for me at least, I have to be in the mindset to write lemons and when I'm not it just comes out forced and choppy. But for all you little cupcakes of joy that get a kick out of the more dark and sinister genres might find this more to your palate.

REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! You gave me like two reviews for my last chapter, make me cry tears of joy not blood! Pwease! Pwease or else I'll start to permanently type in baby talk! REVIEW!

_Sneak Peak_: Some of the many synonyms for "impale" are: spear, run through, pierce, stab, bayonet, spike, skewer.

Enjoy.

_**000**_

It almost looked like rain, in a twisted morally devoid sort of way. It could have rained, with the stereotypical dreary hurricane-esque weather that had practically turned the sun black. But that's how it always is, right? As the brave protagonist faces their greatest foe one on one in an epic battle through rain and sleet, the clash of thunder and lightning repeating in such rapid succession the violent storm begins to mimic the struggle of good and evil commencing below. That picturesque comic book ending of good triumphing over evil, the loved and appreciated hero finally defeating the cruel and detested villain that sought the world to ruin. But such was not the situation ensuing.

The heroes were unsung, their good and righteous deeds warped into sinful acts of treachery. The villains went unnoticed, their viscous and deceitful practices blamed unto innocent and innocuous people.

If it had not been the latter and had been the previous maybe the gushing, spraying blood would not resemble rain so closely and maybe the world wouldn't have been crashing down around them; those unsung heroes. But as Desmond contemplated this, the only conclusion that stuck with him was: television lied. Those assholes.

_**000**_

_**Shortly after Ezio, Altair, and Desmond leave the castle. (After Ch.6)**_

Ezio's feet made loud thumps on the ground, dust and debris flying up around them. His breath came hard, a deep ache resonating in his chest. The cold dry air wasn't helping much either. Despite his obvious exertion, his two companions were ahead of the chubola and both hadn't broken a sweat yet. This was what caused the predictable exclamation, "THIS IS SOOOOOOO UNFAIR!"

A dull silence overtook them as Altair and Desmond slowed to a stop. Altair turned around, slowly enough and with just that right amount of deliberation to cause a sweat drop to form on the side of Ezio's head. The unbearable quiet was practically suffocating, tension rising like the god damned temperature was dropping.

"What, Ezio, may I ask is so unfair?" The anger was barely concealed in his voice; making Desmond shifted nervously from foot to foot.

"Errrr… You're eyes are gorgeous in this lighting." Altair's eyes narrowed, twitching in slight irritation. Desmond swallowed his saliva loudly; well he swallowed what little he had left.

"Somehow I don't believe that's what you were going to say." Ezio was in deep shit now. He cleared his throat, his mouth opening then shutting again. Not knowing how to word his opinion to the stubborn man in front of him.

"Well you two were—umm, well." Ezio faltered, his eyes looking for purchase on anything but Altair's face.

"I believe what Ezio is referring to is the swan and the duck."

"What?"

"A swan effortlessly glides through the water, usually only moving his feet every now and then. A duck appears the same, however if you look at it from below the surface his feet are paddling for dear life, it looks like the calm and collected swan but on the inside it is frantic and chaotically trying to sort things out. You, Altair, are the swan. So in that perspective I can agree with you Ezio it is so not fair. Asshole puts in like 1% effort." Desmond explained nervously, becoming slightly grouchy towards the end of his rather lengthy dialogue. He mentally cursed the asshole author who made him say such an extent without also making water readily available.

"Does that make you the duck, Desmond?" A tiny, cute, little vein popped out on the side of Desmond's head, and his lips turned slightly into a pout as he replied:

"Yes. It does." He childishly stuck his tongue out. (**A/N:** Imagine Altair with an octopus face right here… And no I don't actually think he ever makes an octopus face in the entire span of his video game career, so just make one up. XD)

"And that would make me…?" Both water fowl stared at the pachyderm and in monotone unison:

"The elephant."

Ezio's jaw dropped before he dissolved into sputtering half-phrases that ended with:

"I AM **NOT **FAT!"

Their cute inevitable bickering was cut off before it even started; as a stone was cheaply thrown at Altair's face, hitting dead on. (**A/N: **ALTAIR OCTUPUS FACE!)

"This is what you get for being a swan!" Ezio's ego was obviously seriously wounded.

"Стой! Имя себе чужие!" A short frumpy man yapped at them, a heavy pistol at his side and a crossbow already aimed. A small militia created a half circle around the mustache bearing man.

_**000**_

Much to Desmond's grief actually; he didn't care much for facial hair… He'd tried, unsuccessfully, convincing Ezio to shave off the blasted "stubble" that had taken root in his face. It hadn't worked out well, and he thought_ he _could hold a grudge. Talk about an awkward hike.

But this really wasn't a surprise for Desmond, figures that only 5 miles away from that creepy ass castle and into the creeper wilderness would they get caught by god only knows who. Sigh.

"What'd he say?"

""Do us all a favor and shut up Ezio you probably just offended them in a horrible, gruesome way."

Neither needed to turn and look at Altair to know the terrifying glare they were both receiving. (**A/N: **ALTAIR OCTUPUS FACE!)

"Враждебные! Они должны быть врагами из Словацкой! АТАКА!" Almost instantaneously guns were fired. However as the command was shrieked into the bitter cold, confusion swamped the small task force. So when one shot, panic consumed the others and soon bullets were flying everywhere. Shame they were all aiming at each other. Bullets shattered through cheap metal plated armor, digging into vulnerable flesh before crushing it's way through the 6th rib, lacerating the diaphragm and then through the spleen and stomach. The slight downward angle of them allowing each to be fully hit yet also leaving nothing that would cause immediate death. But that's alright; the three randomly shot bolts that exited from his own commanding officer's crossbow wedged themselves past the exterior of his skull, burrowing into the soft noodle-like texture of his temporal lobe proceeding into his cerebellum taking care of that promptly.

One could call it karma, for as soon as the body hit the floor the captain was shot only once. It wasn't fatal either, a ricocheting bullet lodged itself into his spinal cord, tearing out nerves of his C6-11 vertebrae, his neck, head, and breathing capabilities all still enact. Shame nothing else will be movable. Screams could be heard from the ones that realized what was happening, it only caused to incite more panic in the already deluded minds of their comrades. A machete was brought down upon the back of an unsuspecting warrior, the blade jamming itself into the weak flesh as if the blood that poured from the wound was its life source hooking on into bone and joint rivets, refusing to leave. The ammo wasted on those already dead and shadows the two remaining had only blades left on their person.

As one fell to their knees beside the body of one of many his fallen companions the other, like a man possessed, unsheathed his short knife. Lifting it above his head, he didn't hesitate as he brought it down with all the force he could muster, the blade sliding easily between the clavicle and neck. Blood shot upwards, its streaming cut off by the forearm as the knife was jerked upwards slicing muscle tissue and slitting open the jugular. It wouldn't take long for the man to die, his death unavoidable yet prolonged by the blade as it hadn't been removed and was still lodged into his neck. Blood coated every tiny bit of space it could, sliding and slipping like a virus trying to corrupt all of the cells around it.

The man's breathing was hard as his feet fell heavily, he turned slowly towards the wide eyed trio.

"Um, y-you wanna go now?"

"I d-don't see anything w-wrong with that plan, Ezio." The two waited for their third to comment, but found no voice gracing their ears.

"Altair?" Desmond turned his head in search of the golden eyed man and found him. About 500 ft. away and counting.

"SHIT."

_**000**_

I am _really_ nervous about this chapter, so please be nice. I would love any reviews you would like to grace me with. I know this was supposed to be uploaded on Halloween but I had some complications with my laptop…. FORGIVE ME! You have my undying (Get it "undying" like dead, cause Halloween… Yea…Funnier in my head.) love and devotion.

Oh! Back when I was talking about the arrows lodging themselves in spinal cords, I mentioned how the only thing that dude would be able to move was his head, DON'T TELL PEOPLE THAT! It's not true, the damage done to C6-11 vertebrae wouldn't really affect you in such ways (It really just depends on the type of damage and the angle in which the wound is inflected.) you would lose your capability to move your arms and fingers but chances are no further damage would occur. Yep! Oh and I going to send all of you on a cute little scavenger hunt. I want you to first look up Eddie Izzard as he is an amazing comical genius, then go look up Margaret Cho another comedian who is risky and inappropriately appropriate, then Craig Ferguson another hilarious person. My top 3 favorite comedians and we all need a little bit of happy right? So go look up there funniness and enjoy.

Review my loves!


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCAIMLER: **I neither own nor take ownership of Assassin's Creed (2, Brotherhood, Revelations.). I do not in any way, shape or form AC merchandise, advertisements, or other profitable commodities. I do not make any form of payment for this, it is purely fan-made for fan use.

**WARNING: **Homosexual, homoerotic, gay, yaoi, slash, rainbow colored. I don't know what else to give, considering I've already spelled it out. Don't like don't read, if this kind of thing is upsetting for you, click the back button. I don't know how you couldn't have gotten the hint by now, considering this is the tenth chapter. Violence and other dangerous forms of mayhem, what may to some be considered crude, vulgar, or offensive language. Ye Be Warned. And when I say, "my be offensive to some" I am not referring to any prejudice or racist anything, please don't think otherwise. Oh yes and if you did bother to read this, I have moment ruining A/N:'s scattered throughout the story. So just be warned, you're probably going to read them anyway, but if you don't want the mood ruined just ignore them to the best of you capabilities.

**A/N:** I am so sorry. I haven't updated this in such a long time. My plot bunnies have been unleashed upon other fantastical worlds of imagination and smut.

This is my formal apology. I want you to know that this story will be continued and finished, soon hopefully. My laptop's hard drive crashed and I lost a lot of unfinished and completed work. I have 3 uncompleted stories up right now, and all 3 haven't been updated in a while. I'm not going to list excuses because chances are you just want to read more of my AC smut, and not have to endure a grueling, rambling, lecture-like rant. So, with deep consideration of your mental health and the precarious probability* that you'll put up with my skank-ish bullshit and leave and never come back, I am sparing you the invaluable time that it would take to read such a rant. In fact it would've taken you about as much time as it took you to read my justification of why exactly you weren't going to read the rant.

Be happy I didn't put both up, god knows my word count needs the boost. Just kidding of course. Maybe.

For those of you who are reading some of my other unfinished work, I apologize doubly to you. I promise to have _Reckless_ completed by the New Year, and have Anger updated.

Oh, gotta get this in here, last chapter I used Russian (a broken google translate version of it at least.) and I forgot to put translations or tell you that it was Russian. Yeah, I'm sorry for that too.

_Sneak Peek_: Some of the many antonyms for "tentatively" are: audaciously, boldly, gallantly, impudently, and daringly.

What may you dare ask is Ezio doing audaciously? Think about it.

And now it is my most honored privilege to present to you a new chapter of _Past, Present, Future_. Finally. And what was I thinking using such a corny title?

* * *

><p><em><strong>000<strong>_

_**(Starting where the previous chapter left off)**_

"Altair wait up!" Ezio lagging desperately behind (**A/N: **Deja'vu anyone?), his novice (**A/N: **Ouch.) and his superior both out stripping him in the stamina labeled category of the pie chart Shaun kept on his office wall more than ever. Unfortunately, (**A/N:** Seeing as how if it's Ezio's POV it has to unfortunate.) the breath it took to shout the words happened to be equivalent to the remaining amount in his lungs. His feet stuttered to a stop, and he lurched forward, hands on knees in a frantic attempt at breathing. He needed a steady work out plan, because getting one upped by his underling, a man at least a decade younger than him (**A/N:** He refuses to believe _that_ is the reason Desmond has such rigorous stamina, considering how we all know what his work out schedule consists of. A couch and potato chips.) and his _uke**. _That was a form of humiliation he wasn't even willing to approach at the moment.

Not that he actually had a chance to, considering the foot that had just slammed into his face.

"Son of a Bitch!" Ezio, now holding his bleeding and potentially broken nose, his eyes squinting together in a glare aimed at Altair. His face kicker.

" Maybe if you didn't have a layer of fat surrounding your skull, that would've knocked some sense into you. And that glare is pathetic." A shocked expression may have passed across Ezio's face; however it was quickly turned into a sneer.

"Well, I'm sorry I can't have the bone chilling glare from hell that you do, Altair!" (**A/N:** ALTAIR OCTUPUS FACE!) His rather lame effort at changing the subject from the layer of fat that encased his body was only half as admirable as it was irritating.

Altair's hand lashed out and fisted itself in Ezio's hair, before pulling and shoving the Master Assassin ahead of him and Desmond. Who had maintained silence through the spat. (**A/N:** Shocking I know.)

"I'll give you a 10 second head start." Confusion filled Ezio up, from top to bottom, as he stared at Altair.

_**000**_

The bafflement was not shared with Desmond, his eyes widening. He knew full well what was not only being implied but demanded also.

"Enough! You can't be serious, that's completely unreasonable!"

Altair tore his dark gaze from the master assassin, who was but a novice in the eyes of Altair, to Desmond. His normally golden orbs taking on a deep honey hue (**A/N:** Apparently it is commonly mistaken that honey is a bright happy yellow. It's a fucking deep ass brown. Get yourself a jar of honey, so that you can realize the color of honey is not what you have been lead to believe by the authors of the world.), a clear sign that he had had enough of Ezio's bullshit.

Desmond subconsciously tried to chew a hole through his lip as his feet cautiously approached his Master Assassin. Definitely not a good idea to alert him of the absurdity he was asking of Ezio. Whoops.

No words were spoken as Desmond approached, stopping in front of the taller man, hands instantly attaching to the front of Altair's top. He had taken off the excess robes shortly after leaving the castle and the plain white shirt was a welcomed change for Desmond. His fingers nervously twirled on the fabric, the young man's eyes locked onto a random patch of white, refusing to meet Altair's eyes. He opened his mouth to object, knowing that this was not the time to teach Ezio a lesson, not after the run in with the natives of this land. He was cut off before he had even begun.

"If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it." The words were harsh, and Desmond flinched at the unfamiliar emotion he heard in them.

Altair's hand moved from his side to Desmond's hip, shoving him roughly aside. The hidden blade triggered, a deadly knife taking the empty place of his ring finger.

"10, 9, 8…" The countdown started, and suddenly Ezio realized that he was about to get the most painful beating he had ever experienced in his entire life. So what does one do when faced with an inevitable doom? One runs.

"Why the fuck can't he run like that normally?" The wise ass comment was ignored, as the 10 seconds were over.

_**000**_

Altair knew, without a doubt, that Desmond would need some serious TLC when this was over, and that his behavior would warrant one of the novice's loathsome grudges. But that would come later.

He had reached his limit with Ezio's shit. He knew that now wasn't the time for teaching, especially with that thick head of Ezio's, it took drastic methods to make him remember anything. Drastic methods such as the one he was executing currently.

His feet were light and silent across the snow covered ground, his tracks undetectable to all but the most highly trained. Ezio took the saying, "bull in a china shop" to the extreme. And briefly Altair wondered how he had ever ascended to Master Assassin, or if he had just forgotten all his training. His breathing was heavy and obnoxious and he might as well have stopped to make snow angels, they would have been a more obscure trail to track than the one he was following now. His only saving grace was the dense pine trees and tall evergreens that consisted of the forest, so closely knitted together that seeing beyond the first two or three was near impossible. Altair couldn't name the foreign landscape and fauna around him but he certainly used it to the best of his advantage.

He sprinted evenly and confidently, which is why the sudden loss of ground came as a bit of a surprise. Thankfully his momentum easily carried him across the gorge, for it wasn't that far. A tear through the earth, it went down much farther than the eye could see, a deadly trap that was unnoticeable due to the heavy greenery that covered most of the ground and came up about knee high.

Altair nearly choked on his heart when it leapt into his throat. He knew Desmond wouldn't have just stayed in the open, less dense part of the woods. He would have tried to follow him as he tracked his quarry. He knew his heart wasn't beating as he skidded to a stop, his feet leaving wide ruts in the snow. He didn't think much about Ezio, he could take care of himself… Hopefully.

"Fuck!"

_**000**_

Ezio sat at the edge of a rather cavernous opening in the earth, his feet dangling off the ledge. It went rather far down from what he could gather. He figured if he was going to die anyway, he might as well die with breath in his lungs. The distinct rustling of foliage reached his ears, which meant it wasn't Altair.

"Desmond." He leaned back as he spoke, back flat against the ground. He looked up at the relieved novice, who fell to his knees in front of Ezio's head.

"You asshole! Are you trying to make him angry?" Desmond put his arms out, and shifted unto all fours. His face hovered over Ezio's.

"I hadn't meant to worry you." A warm hand reached up to gently touch a slightly wind burnt cheek. The rosy pink should have clashed with Desmond's darker skin tone, but it suited him perfectly. Another hand joined the first, and Ezio pulled the novice's face down to meet his lips. The contact was warm, contrasting with the cold, windy environment.

Ezio lapped at Desmond's lips, and they hesitantly parted, allowing entrance to the warm cavern. The saliva coated muscle slipped into the younger's mouth eagerly, stopping to mingle with the other hot muscle that tentatively responded. A quiet moan arose from Desmond's throat.

The deep kiss was interrupted; however.

_**000**_

"I can't leave you two alone for 5 minutes! Fucking whores!" For fuck's sake he had been genuinely scared, a feeling that he almost never experienced. Whatever fear for their safety he had moments before was gone, to be replaced with hot, white, blinding anger. (A/N: ALTAIR OCTUPUS FACE!)

And Ezio thought he was going to get the worst beating of his life _before_.

Altair wrapped his arms around Desmond and, literally, tossed him aside.

"Owie." He had landed, somehow, directly on his ass. Why was it that whenever Altair was involved he ended up with a sore ass?

Altair lifted a foot up and slammed it down, rather brutally, onto Ezio's exposed and vulnerable ribcage.

"That was for not learning shit."

"What was I supposed to learn!" Ezio was coughing and wheezing but he still managed to sound pissed off.

"That if you slow us down and make us more defenseless than we already are, I will kill you, so that the rest of us can live." Desmond hastily got up, despite the protest from his sore behind, and reached up to cup Altair's face with his hands, tilting the Master Assassin's face down slightly.

"I know that he has yet to grasp the severity of the situation—" Desmond began, but was cut off by an incredulous, "Hey!"

"And that he is intolerable and rash and is constantly trying to undermine your authority. But right now, you are being rash and intolerable." Altair's irritation showed through his brow knitting together. He inhaled deeply, this wasn't going as planned.

"How am I being rash, or intolerable? It seems as if I'm the only one with any sense around here."

"How so? Right now, we shouldn't be arguing about this at all. We should be discussing our plans to find a city, and what to do with the guard. Maybe it's you who doesn't fully understand the severity of our situation. Unless you know something that we don't?"

Altair ground his teeth together, his anger slowly subsiding.

"Fine than. Let's discuss."

_**000**_

Thank God. He had really thought Altair was going to beat the shit out of him for a little bit there. Desmond turned to Ezio, an eyebrow rising questioningly.

"Why are you still on the floor?"

"I think he broke me." Desmond let out a breathy laugh before leaning down to help lift Ezio off the ground.

* * *

><p><em><strong>~000~<strong>_

What do you guys think? I hope you enjoyed, please review! I makes me smile and uber happy.

I'm sorry about the mood ruining A/N:'s but I couldn't resist. I'll get the next chapter up soon~~ Anger and Reckless will be uploaded! So yeah! I hoped you enjoyed!

~o.o~

I feel like I'm forgetting something…


	11. Chapter 11

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Assassin's Creed (2, Brotherhood, Revelations) and am in no way shape or form profiting from this. It is made purely for the enjoyment of myself and others.

WARNING: This chapter contains violence, sexual situations which include homosexual/homoerotic/slash/yaoi/gay (don't like don't read), and language that may be considered vulgar, crude, or offensive. Ye Be Warned.

Maria and Altair

A/N: I had said to some of you that I would be updating my Hetalia fic _Anger _but I got some really cute ideas for this and decided to publish another chapter of this instead. I'm sorry if you wanted a chapter of _Anger, _though you should expect another chapter of that soon as well. Btw, I have so much plot and smut shoved into this chap I was worried it was too much, but I'll let you be the judge of that. Oh yes and there are a few… interesting mishaps throughout this chapter like all the writing is still readable to them and stuff even though it's a different language… Let's just say the apple was incredibly thorough.

Note: And as always skip the "A/N:" if you want to keep the story not funny. But honestly who wants that?

_**000**_

After walking for long miles the trio was officially exhausted. The cold nipped at their faces and seemed to seep through their clothes and wrap itself around them in a chilling embrace. Snow was falling quickly, the big puffy flakes swirling around before fluttering down to the already white covered ground.

Needless to say, Altair was cold. They were tracking what appeared to be a trade route that, hopefully, led to a town. The more they walked, the stronger he felt that they should take to the trees instead of traveling along the trail but he feared it would wipe out too much energy. They didn't need to add the burden of an unconscious body that one of them would have to carry. So, the trail it was.

The distinct clacking of the horse hooves was what first notified them of a carriage approaching. Well that and the arguing, the extremely loud arguing. Nevertheless each assassin, both novice and master, quickly disappeared. The carriage thundered by, its speed only increasing as it passed, and an aged piece of parchment, that had somehow freed itself from the rampaging horse drawn vehicle, was floating down, the wind swishing it in different directions. Thankfully, Ezio quickly snatched it from the air, a slightly smug smile on his face. For catching a piece of paper. Altair would have sighed, but that wasn't very Altair-like so he held it in, opting instead to roll his eyes at the juvenile move.

"A sale at –" Ezio's eyebrows jumped up and suddenly he was waving the sheet around like a lunatic.

"It's an advertisement for a sale at the local bazaar! There is a city nearby." Altair seized the ad quickly; inspecting it himself he let triumph momentarily flash across his face.

"Only a few miles more and we should stumble upon it. That carriage must have just come from this place." He was eager to arrive and be out of the frigid cold. Very eager.

"What the fuck are we standing around for then?" In reply to the Italian, Desmond provided a sharp smack to the back of Ezio's head, before starting down the worn road once again. A large gust of wind blew the parchment out of Altair's hands and off into the wilderness. He didn't bother going after it, he swiftly followed Desmond instead.

"That hurt." Ezio mumbled to himself quietly, rubbing the back of his head before following the two in turn.

_**000**_

_**Time Skip **_

_**(But not really)**_

_**(A/N: Figured it would be lame if the next seven paragraphs were just them walking towards town… Yuck… It would be like reading Lord Of the Rings, all they do is walk.)**_

Sitting outside of a, rather large, city the trio sat huddled together in a haystack, plotting their next move.

"We could sneak in." Ezio offered.

"Thank you Captain Obvious." Desmond stated sarcastically. He squeaked cutely when Ezio, in response, sidled closer to slide his knee between the younger's legs. He leaned in to whisper into Desmond's ear, lips brushing against it teasingly.

"You're welcome Lieutenant Sarcasm."

"W-What are you doing!" It was a talent Desmond had, to be able to scream loudly at someone while still whispering. Whisper screaming. (**A/N: **WHISPER SCREAMING~ Desmond has perfected the art.)

"Hmm. It is kind of a turn on. Fucking in a haystack." The seductive purr sent responsive shivers down Desmond's back.

"N-no it isn't!"

A dark chuckle unwound itself from Altair's throat.

"It seems you've developed a stutter." His voice was dark and accented and Desmond's face flushed a light pink color in response.

"S-shut up!"

Altair's seemingly permanent smirk grew.

"Hey did you hear something?" A deep voice rang from beside the randomly placed haystack.

"Shit!" (**A/N**: WHISPER SCREAMING!)

Before either Master Assassin could react, Desmond grabbed the guard from behind, snapping his neck and pulling him into the haystack in one swift move.

"Well... That took care of my hard on."

"…" The silence was deafening.

"When you say 'took care of' in what way exactly are you referring to?"

Ezio's brow furrowed, "What do you me-" After momentarily going bug eyed, Ezio scowled.

"You don't actually think of me that lowly, do you?"

"…"

"Anyway, we can't just stay here now, someone's bound to notice him missing and… Well, he smells."

It was true; the fourth body they were lying next to had the distinct smell of death and ickiness. Not very pleasant and slightly goblin like… And not in the good way. (**A/N:** I get way too much amusement out of writing these.)

"Back to the point, the guard here is obviously well supplied and funded, however they are inexperienced."

"I agree, their only knowledge of combat is limited to harassing the citizens of this city." Ezio agreed with Altair.

"You don't know that. We shouldn't assume anything just yet, not until we know more." Figures Desmond would be the salmon swimming downstream. Altair made a sharp clacking noise with his tongue. For a few long, achingly long, minutes Desmond and Altair sat in silence, boring holes into the other's soul.

"Fine. Have it your way, but when we find the guards and politics to be corrupt and that it was a waste of time-"

"And if they're not corrupt? Do you honestly want to prove to every herald and escaping noble that we are just as backstabbing and unjust as they preach us to be?"

An exasperated sigh emitted from Altair and he swiftly slipped out of the haystack without another word.

"Was that a yes?"

Ezio reached forward and pinched Desmond's cheek before replying.

"Go give him some love, and stop trying to lecture your superiors. They might just lecture you back."

Desmond rolled his eyes. "Find a way in."

The only response he got was a quick smirk, but the face and the man it belonged to were soon gone, off to complete his companion's demand. But even as Desmond sat there he could feel the beginnings of regret and guilt.

He let momentary displeasure slip into his features before he wiped it off and groaned. He hated apologizing.

_**000**_

Ezio looked back at the haystack from his hidden perch, watching as Desmond slid out of the haystack gracefully and tugged on the end of Altair's sleeve. He easily imagined a pair of big dog ears pressed flat against the novice's head and a tail tucked between his legs. He chuckled lightly to himself; the puppy did look odd, at least, next to the wolf he did.

He assessed the city, noting the typical decrepit stone wall that surrounded the town and the repetitive turret every 500 feet or so. He swung up; catching a nook in the wall with his right arm he lunged upwards and caught the next nook with his left. (**A/N:** Or LT+X)

A few guards patrolling along the wall caught sight of him but they were quickly dispatched, their bodies disposed of expertly and without hesitation.

He circled the city multiple times, but upon the fourth he decided that his best route in was through a small aqueduct opening, one of the only ones left unattended by workers or guards. He would bring the others through later, after he finished mapping out the city.

He felt slightly embarrassed having to crawl down on his hands and knees to get through the opening. He wasn't a man that was used to being on his knees. (**A/N:** If you catch my drift.)

_**000**_

Big puppy dog eyes stared up at Altair questioningly, fingers curled around the edge of his sleeve. He inhaled deeply, lifting his four fingered hand and cupping the side of Desmond's face.

"I…do not like not having things my way. It is not your fault…. I acted immaturely." Of course it was gagged out and he nearly threw up at the thought of actually going though with the sentence, but he still said it. Desmond's eyes widened slightly before he reached his hand up towards Altair's face.

"Are you okay?" Worry was ingrained into his face as he stared up at the older man.

Altair's eye twitched in his anger. (**A/N:** ALTAIR OCTUPUS FACE!)

"Just kidding! Just kidding! You don't have to get your panties in a bunch."

"I don't wear panties."

And suddenly Desmond felt as if he should be running, and running fast. He tried to put on his cutest 'don't hurt me' face, but it didn't seem to be working. Sucks for him.

And as if his mother had just walked in on him masturbating he bolted out of there so fast Altair had to launch himself forward to tackle Desmond to the ground.

_**000**_

_**Meanwhile **_

"Ladies, ladies, ladies. There's no need to fight." Ezio's deep baritone voice rang throughout the brothel and a horde of women, and the every now and again man, swooned and fawned over him.

"Oh Ezio you're always thinking of our well being."

"You're so kind, I feel like I should be the one paying you."

"If only the other customers were like you."

"If only they were as good as you."

While Ezio did indeed find the fashion to be a bit different to what he was used to, that didn't mean he couldn't spot a courtesan out of a crowd. Or a brothel out of a marketplace.

And indeed the fashions were quite different from what the Italian was used to. Everyone wore lots of fur and odd hats. But when has Ezio Auditore actually cared about what the wrapping paper on the outside of a present looks like?

He fondled another ass. The girl squealed before practically jumping onto his lap. He felt the cool metal of a dagger glide against his skin, well the cool metal of the sheath anyways. He smirked to himself; it was relieving to know that some things didn't change.

He fondled more."

"Ezio, you are a traveler, right? Tell us your amazing adventures!"

"Yeah Ezio, tell us."

Ezio went pale and nearly shat himself as he looked toward the door and the source of the unenthusiastic voice.

The two water fowl stood in the doorway of the whore house, neither looking particularly pleased with the pachyderm. (A/N: IDENTICAL ALTAIR OCTUPUS FACES!)

Shoving the two girls on his lap off, he quickly rose to his feet.

"H-hey, ummm, h-how did you two-?"

"Why, we followed the sound of giggling girls."

He inhaled sharply, "I can explain."

Desmond approached Ezio, reached his hand out and shoved the Italian back down into the chair.

"Well then, explain."

Ezio gulped.

_**000**_

Review? Please?

I actually think that Altair and Maria are the cutest things together, especially now that I have more background information in Revelations.

Anyway, I have come to properly apologize about how long this has taken and that I haven't updated Anger. I know that it's been a long time and I don't really have an excuse. But I will try to upload on a schedule from now on that switches off with Anger. I'm going to switch on and off between the two because they're my main stories and the ones I have the most plans for. ALRIGHT!

If you review I'll love you!~


	12. Chapter 12

Hiatus

I'm really sorry guys, to anyone who likes this fic thank you so much it make me really happy. This is going to sound really pathetic and immature and childish but I've gotten a lot of flames and dozens private messages about how awful this story is and about how it sucks and I should take it down. I love writing so much that it really makes me feel really, really bad when someone says that I'm an awful writer and shouldn't bother posting stories. I know that it's selfish but I'm going to put this story on a hiatus for a little bit. I just can't write when I think about how much people hate what I do write. I know that it sounds pathetic that I'm taking what they say seriously and stuff but I can't help that it hurts to read that. I don't want to sound melodramatic or like I'm complaining but I just wanted to let some of you guys who are actually reading this to know why I haven't been updating recently and that I will complete it. I just can't find any will to do it right now.

I'm sorry to the people that don't like what I write and are disappointed in it.


	13. Chapter 13

***This has not been proof read, mainly cause I'm lazy, if you find a mistake (which you will) please mention it in a review***

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own anything.

**WARNING**: There actually really isn't anything bad with this "installment" cause it technically isn't a chapter.

**A/N**: (Note this goes on for awhile, you can skip down to the bolded stuff to get on with it if you'd like.)

* * *

><p>I wanted everyone to know that I'm working on finishing the next chapter of Past, Present, and Future; and that you should expect another chapter and another update. You guys are so amazingly awesome and thoughtful and really helpful. You totally helped me through it and you wouldn't believe the extent of appreciation that I have for all of you. I know I wasn't able to respond to everyone but I smiled at every review and pm you sent and I love you all. You really helped me and if I could I would hug you all and give you lots of kisses.<p>

Haters gonna hate.

Players gonna play.

Flamers gonna flame.

But I don't give a shit.

So there.

:D To all the assholes out there who think it's okay to make someone question their wonderful existence in this world.

No one deserves to suffer the pain that comes with doubting ones own life, do not ever tell another person to commit suicide or kill themselves. Never. Not if they are cruel to others, if they are homophobic, if they are fat, if they are insecure, if they aren't the prettiest, if they don't wear makeup, or if they do wear makeup. Just don't.

In your life you will feel pain, you will cry, and you will lose the ability to trust, or to care, or to think. But you know what? Those people who are mean and rude, that say offensive things have been hurt just as badly as you have. Do not let that pain control you, be better than that awful feeling of wishing you didn't exist.

There will always be that time in someone's life when you get that phone call at midnight that explains to them how their best friend in the whole wide world committed suicide. They weren't dramatic about it, they didn't post it all over facebook or twitter, nope. They didn't say anything; they just locked their door, turned the fan on, turned on music, and then hung themselves in their closet with a belt.

And you know what? I've gotten that call. I've had to answer an unknown number and have a detective explain to me that a close friend has run away and hasn't been seen or heard from for days. I've had to be told to stop crying because this is going to be recorded and no one can understand you over your sobs. And that's more embarrassing than you'd think.

I didn't write this to make anyone feel bad or to bring up sad memories that everyone says will heal with time (the liars). No. I wrote this with the hope that someone out there is going to read it and think about a tumblr dash that got spammed by an anon who said awful things or a facebook profile that gets trashed everyday and _that_ someone is going to send a pm or write in an ask or post on their wall and tell these poor people that they are beautiful and they are loved and no they don't deserve this.

I'm not the best writer, I'm not the best singer, I'm not the best dancer, I'm not the best artist, I can't play sports, I really can't play my instrument, I'm not the best student, I'm not even the best person. But I'm really good at being a friend. So, do whatever. Pay attention to this, ignore it, say it's stupid, say it's not. Do whatever you want, because it's no one's business what you believe or what you think. I don't care if you're a college student who struggles to make ends meat, I don't care if you're a wealthy little rich kid, I don't care. I care about who you are. Not what you eat, not how aesthetically pleasing you are, not how good you are at football, not about how fanfiction and anime are a big secret and your household and friends wouldn't approve, not about how much money you make, not about how old you are.

I care about the squishy mass of organ residing in your head and about that other one in your ribcage beating away. You need that one. I hope everyone has an amazing day.

And now for a little something something that actually relates to this story – sorry for it's shortness -

_**000**_

**The Chronicles~**

It was those little things really. The average normal things that you didn't think about being particularly something you should notice, that really made him smile. Ezio was used to Leonardo's constant inventing and being amazed by new improbable things, but Altair was not in any way used to anything of the sort.

Like, take for instance, the first time Altair had noticed the strip of metal that held Desmond's clothing together. That had been priceless, over and over and over again Altair unzipped his hoodie, playing with the "astounding" mechanism until Desmond finally just gave him the jacket. It was those little things that made him smile, the ones that made Altair gasp in surprise.

Trying to explain to him what a refrigerator was had been the most difficult though, second only to (just maybe) elevators. It was worth the trouble though, to watch the steely I-know-all aura fade away to reveal a curious and inexperienced "novice". It was also at these moments when Desmond found himself envying Malik. What it must have been like to live with that side of Altair all the time. From the simplest of stances to the most complicated assassinations, just to watch those eyes lighten with realization and glee once he finally understood, he didn't doubt the man was fortunate.

You could fascinate Altair for hours with something that would seem so simple until he asked and asked and asked and suddenly what was once a simple thing turned into a complicated mechanism that not even _he_ fully left him frustrated and tired. But then again everything he did with Altair left him frustrated and tired on some level, typically one more than the other.

Those little fucking things. The arrogant smile that would slide onto his face molasses slow but be gone in a blink. The way his fingers would glide through his hair in the early morning, far too early for the sun to say hello, but late enough for Altair to be wide awake. He never knew Desmond forced himself to awake to feel those fingers carelessly slide and scrape just lightly over his scalp, well if he did know he never confronted Desmond with it.

The first time Altair experienced a pet shop had been hilarious. They had left with a red tailed beta and two fat goldfish, but like a small child he'd been so proud; making a point to feed them himself. When one of the goldfish flopped out overnight Desmond rushed to the pet shop to get a replacement so that Altair wouldn't know. But he did. The second his eyes rested on the tank, he knew. And Desmond knew he knew. But Altair just smiled and said nothing to Desmond; just kissed him softly. It wasn't like he had to do much else; before the day was over they had held a mini funeral and even Ezio said some words to their dear departed Pedro.

The sun glinting off of his golden eyes, making them glow ethereally. His rare genuine smile, the one that only came out when he thought no one was looking. Desmond used to send him off to the grocery store for shopping and he would always, without fail, buy limited edition poptarts in bulk. "But Desmond, they're limited edition! They'll be gone the next time!" Altair hated them, but he bought them because he knew they were Ezio's favorite. Just like he'd get chocolate ice cream for Desmond. He probably just wanted to ensure their fatness so he would stay the best.

Altair.

It was the little things Desmond loved the most.

It was the little things he found himself missing the most.

_**000**_

It was different with Ezio.

Time travel, now that was bizarre. A zipper, a machine that kept food longer, a platform that lifted people and objects to higher or lower levels of a building. He got that, it was realistic, it had a purpose. But time travel? That was purely absurd. But at the same time irritating, simply because Altair took it in stride. A man who furrowed his brown at the thought of electric lights didn't bat an eyelash at the plausibility of multiple dimensions and the ability to travel into multiple time periods.

Everything about Altair frustrated Ezio. Every arrogant comment, every lift of his eyebrow. That was supposed to be him. He was supposed to be the arrogant, over-confident, charming, hilarious, flirtatious yet handsome man .

It was almost like a punch to the gut whenever he turned around and saw Desmond with that shy smile while Altair had his eyes narrowed with a wry smirk on his lips. Yes, Altair was irritating, very irritating. But Ezio could never find himself angry at the man for long, and usually it was around the moments when he realized that Altair was his yummiest.

And the sex- holy shit was the sex amazing. He left him open and raw, and aching to be filled like no other man ever had. Desmond would never be given the opportunity, but Ezio on special occasions was allowed to top. And fuck was it good that way too.

He never though himself fond of Altair. He was damn infuriating. He didn't know when the man had found himself a place in his heart next to Desmond. He hated that he had.

But when Ezio wasn't angry, when there wasn't a sobbing Desmond to hold, no enemies to fight off. It was that side of Altair, the predatory, assertive, arrogant Altair he found himself missing.

Found himself yearning for.

_**000**_

* * *

><p>I will try to get the next real chapter up as soon as possible but it's slow coming. If anyone would be willing to help just shoot me a pm, and everyone have a spectacular day because-<p>

AFTER WHAT SEEMED LIKE AN ETERNITY CREAM IS BACK AND READY TO UPLOAD THE SHIT OUT OF FANFICTION.


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